adventures in queerness, faith, gender, community, non-monogamy, mental health, recovery, love, friendship, snapshots, poems, outdoors, cats.

 

tw: suicide, mental health

medicated crazy
every morning i reach for
those five orange bottles,
swallow my mental health whole
like it’s that easy — glass of water
and some little white pills
and off to the races i go —
in the lead
never a fluctuation in my performance
fooled everyone again today
saddle me down in the stable tonight
i’m stable

take my meds like clockwork,
meditation a prescription
i refill daily,
self-care a scaffold
upon which i hang
all other things,
doctors orders,
afraid of losing my shit
like a translucent bag of oranges
rolling toward the dirty
newsprint-gutter, and i still
see black oil-slick snakes tendriled
around my laundry basket
sometimes even after
hours of stillness
i want to drive my
tan car off the greenest cliffside
and my skin feels like it is crawling on
the inside of its own skin
i’m quick to find humor in even the
damnedest things
it’s how i’ve survived for so long
but sometimes even i can’t laugh
the thick sludge of shame
clogging up my veins
and there are four hundred thousand
deep valleys
between i want to die and i just can’t
keep doing it this way
but sometimes the distance
feels smaller even
when every part of me
still resists death’s each
and every knocking
even ‘medicated’ i’m crazy
and i can’t take it anymore
i don’t know how to recover
not sure i want to recover
because the silver lining
is always that once it’s happened
it’s mine—even if i didn’t ask
for it, i can at least do with it as i please—
reconstruct the memories,
make paints with them, make
collages held together with white glue,
build a construction-paper alphabet
strung out long

but i can’t predict my own
unpredictability
turns out i’m not as reliable
as the moon, turning the tides
in circles
maybe someone will make
a calendar of all my faces
maybe then i can tell you
all of my names

— liam b @zapatos

everyoneisgay:

parentsproject:

Lauren Lubin, creator of the movement We Exist, sits down with Kristin Russo (co-founder of The Parents Project) to explain the term "gender binary."

In one of our first videos for parents, Kristin sits down with WeExist founder, Lauren Lubin, to define & discuss the gender binary!

i really like this!

hotdad-erwinsmith:

fellas to my left…honeys on my right…folks who don’t fit into the gender binary levitate above me in cool poses…

i love this so much — friendships, romantic relationships, self, pets… i love healthy nurturing!

i love this so much — friendships, romantic relationships, self, pets… i love healthy nurturing!

(Source: veglawyer)

africa-will-unite:

"I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. [some whistles and cheers from the audience] Don’t hate the player, hate the game. In my neighborhood, there are four black people. Hundreds of houses, four black people. Who are these black people? Well, there’s me, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Eddie Murphy. Only black people in the whole neighborhood. So let’s break it down, let’s break it down: me, I’m a decent comedian. I’m a’ight. [applause] Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He’s a fucking dentist! He ain’t the best dentist in the world…he ain’t going to the dental hall of fame…he don’t get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He’s just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. See, the black man gotta fly to get to somethin’ the white man can walk to." Chris Rock

africa-will-unite:

"I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. [some whistles and cheers from the audience] Don’t hate the player, hate the game. In my neighborhood, there are four black people. Hundreds of houses, four black people. Who are these black people? Well, there’s me, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Eddie Murphy. Only black people in the whole neighborhood. So let’s break it down, let’s break it down: me, I’m a decent comedian. I’m a’ight. [applause] Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He’s a fucking dentist! He ain’t the best dentist in the world…he ain’t going to the dental hall of fame…he don’t get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He’s just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. See, the black man gotta fly to get to somethin’ the white man can walk to." Chris Rock

importantbirds:

vani-lla:

黒哥@Greater Vasa Parrot has proposed an arrangement of the scarf.

It is BIRB FASHN HOUR WITH YOU HOST gramma birb. Come look at scarf. Come closer. More scarf. AH! Bite nose, haHA

importantbirds:

vani-lla:

黒哥@Greater Vasa Parrot has proposed an arrangement of the scarf.

It is BIRB FASHN HOUR WITH YOU HOST gramma birb. Come look at scarf. Come closer. More scarf. AH! Bite nose, haHA